Social Media and it's Users

The internet used to be a place where nerds and manchildren would get together and have a good time. This is because you really couldn't get on the internet unless you owned a computer and had some idea how to use it. This cut off a surprisingly large amound of people. Nobody knew it at the time, because we were too busy shitposting about video games. It wasn't any better than it is now. It was far more decentralized though. What the hell happened? well, the Smartphone happened. It's not a bad thing. It's just an overall shift that opened the proverbial floodgates to people that would have never tried to use the internet otherwise.

Your Parents, for instance.

If your parents are anything like mine, this is as horrifying as it is entertaining. My parents can barely operate a PC, even today. They still try! Oh--Boy! Do they try! Often times they fail miserably!

I just don't know why they want to use the computer. They have no business using one. They don't do anything important with it aside from Facebook or pornography. I don't get why they can't use a phone for that. after all, it's what introduced them to the internet. They call me semi frequently to come by and fix "problems". These range from "I don't remember my password" to "I accidentally changed my Chrome Homepage". God bless their ignorance. I love my parents, I truly do. That being said, they're not cut out for using a PC. Smartphones on the other hand, are designed to appeal to everyone. It's very telling that 3 year olds are able to efficiently use them. I'm not point that out in a negative light. I do think that it's a great thing that so many people have access to technology. The problem is, they're people. People do and say stupid things all the time. And when you give someone a device that lets them broadcast the stupid things they do and say to the world from anywhere on Earth, you're asking for trouble.

How the smartphone accidentally ruined the internet

It could be argued that most of the nonsense going on with the internet today is directly a result of the advent of the smartphone. Now, if you're one of the people I'm talking about, i.e your first interactions with the internet was via smartphone, listen up. I'm not saying you are part of the problem. I'm saying that people like you are part of the problem. This is a critique of a collective. Individuals are exempt from what I am about to say. When smartphones hit, the internet wasn't ready. Grandmas, your friends mom, your redneck uncle, mormons, stupid teenagers, you name it. They all began infesting the internet at an alarming rate. Luckily, the infestation is mostly contained to social media. I use the term "infestation" because it's funny. The internet was my place to go to escape these people. I don't hate any of them. Quite the contrary. That being said, I don't want to see them when I am trying to escape from them.

So, You have the boomers, you have the sanctamonious crowd, redditors, narcisistic people, the list goes on. All of these groups were introduced to the internet by smartphones. Around 2012 when smartphone adoption hit 50% or so, all these characters started to pop up to scream into their respective abyss. Each group seems to have a containment site made especially for them. That's capitalism in action, baby.

Facebook's Boomer Infestation

I start with this category because I don't find them at fault for anything they've done. I should also clarify that I'm solely talking about the internet iliterate, and the regular iliterate when I talk about boomers. Baby Boomers helped invent the internet, so I don't blame them all. Just the vast majority. Most of them have no idea what they're doing, can barely write, and are crazy. They post utter nonsense, and believe utter nonsense. I am not a boomer, so I have no idea why they do these things. I can only determine that it's most likely not their fault. They didn't grow up with this stuff. Not only that, Facebook is going out of it's way to keep them from learning how any of this works. You see, Facebook relies on their ignorance to make money. People who know anything about anything know that Facebook is filled to the brim with fake news, steals your data, and is generally just a complete and utter drain on humanity. They've figured out how to manipulate boomers so well that the entire website has become rife with them. Your grandparents, aunts, uncles, regualar parents, all of them probably have Facebook. It's like that family gathering you don't want to go to but somehow worse. Facebook doesn't even try to hide the fact that they're fishing for data from you. I don't know how many time's I've gotten a prompt to add information to my profile. You just know some grandma is falling for it hook line and sinker. Aside from all the evil stuff facebook does, the level of ignorance I see from facebook users is astounding. people talk about things they know nothing about as if they're experts. I can't stand it and that's why I left. I'm one of last people in my friend group to continue using that cesspool. That being said, I find it comforting that so many boomers think Facebook and Foxnews.coms comment section are the entire internet. It all works out.

The Sanctimonious Twitter Crowd

I'll be honest. The fact that these types primarily use Twitter is hilarious. It's truly a match made in heaven. I don't know when the internet became a morality contest. What I do know is that Twitter is Morality Contest HQ. It's a place where people that have absolutely no self esteem go to destroy eachother while also portraying themselves as morally just. It was hilarious at first, then it became tiring. The continous mob mentality over there that makes otherwise reasonable beliefs seem insane because of the deranged way that people espouse them. I am all for trans rights. However, if you say something like "TRANS RIGHTS AND LETS FUCKING KILL EVERYONE THAT DISAGREES" I'm going to disagree with you by default. The level of extremeism over there blows my mind. Jack Dorsey doesn't give a damn because he's getting rich off of it. I gotta say, I don't actually mind. More power to him. These people were going to be miserable regardless. I never felt the need to post online about my political beliefs, or how morally rightous I am. Mostly because my political beliefs are private, and I have a self esteem. I don't care at all about peoples opinions of me. Even if they're positive. Twitter preys on those that have no self esteem. People who think they've got something to prove. Of course the userbase turned out the way it did. Even so, I want no part of it and would like to politely ask them to stay on their containment site where they belong.

Redditors and Reddit

I don't hate anyone. That being said, if I did, my first choice would be Redditors. When I think of a Redditor, I think of this extremely obese person in his 20's wearing a fedora and giggling to himself as he scrolls his phone. The ultimate loser. The person I am afraid I'll become if I don't work hard and do my best in life. Just, the lowest form of human life imaginable. What is it about the Redditor that disgusts me so? Is it the stupid lingo they use? Is it the toothless way they write? is it that air of superiority they have? What do the have to feel superior about? They're modern day eBaumsworld. I used to frequent r/NES because of course I did. The entire subreddit is just people posting pictures of what games they've beaten or purchased. No information whatsoever. Just endless circlejerking. I don't care even remotely that you beat Double Dragon, and I love Double Dragon. I don't know you. You probably cheated. Tell me how you did it. Don't just make a low effort post. You know why they do it? Those delicious upvotes. Think, facebook like. Except the site keeps track of every upvote you get. There are people so pathetic that they feel the need to continuously farm these upvotes. The site encourages people to post the most insipid, toothless, lowest common denominator nonsense imaginable. And it works! Discussion? Better not go against the grain, because you might get a downvote. A downvote will subtract 1 point from your score. Can't have that. So people just circlejerk all day long, mostly regurgitating information they found elsewhere. Never creating new information, since it's too risky. It really is one of the mindnumbing places on the internet and I can't believe how popular it is. If you're a reddit user, never tell me about it. I might just end up thinking less of you. This is the only place on this page that I feel that way about. I cannot blame people for their twitter, facebook, or instagram use. I can and will blame you for being a Redditor. Please go be a redditor somewhere I am not. Thank you and I'll see you in hell.

Instagram AKA Facebook Jr.

Facebook made a good decision when they bought instagram. They saw how 20 somethings were using their site and said "lets buy this and funnel them all over there". Fair enough. I don't have much to say about Instagram that deviates from common opinion. Just like every other social media site it's a cesspool of narcisism and ignorance. That being said, it's mostly harmless. The instagram crowd keeps to itself, and since it's not designed with discussion in mind, it's the most tolerable social media I've used. I don't like how I signed up to get engineering related posts. Not because I don't like engineering, but because I like accurate engineering. You know, the stuff that actually works. I don't know how many times I got videos about things that are impossible, inaccurate, or just plain dumb. I deleted the app because I found myself endlessly scrolling through fake UFO videos. Make of that what you will.

What should be done?

Nothing. These people are having fun. What gives me the right to get on a pedastool and proclaim that it should end? I'm not them. That being said, I want nothing to do with them. They don't know that the internet is a huge place. I have plenty of options for places to visit where they're not going to be. That's not going to stop me from needlessly complaining about them. Though, maybe I did need to get this off my chest in a way. I've been keeping this to myself for years because none of those sites give me the opportunity to speak my mind the way a terrible HTML page does. Check back for more later.

Back to Main Page